Stuff my Nana says

Eee Christina I was just about to dial your number! Do you know what that's called... telapathie 

For tea tonight have i made you your favorite, Corned Beef and Potato pie with home made Chips, nice eh... and for dessert 'Profit Rolls'

I went to Tayborns with Mina and the girls from the court the other day and the Porn Cocktail was just delicious

When i was a bairn we didn't have dolls to play with, we used to wrap a bag of sugar up in an old rag and pretend that was our baby. When we played mammys and daddys i used to put a pleated skirt on my head backwards and pretend i had a mop of lovely dark brown hair, either that or a pillow case.

For eye liner we used coal and for lipstick we used beetroot juice. For rosy cheeks we just nipped them until they were red raw.

We never really got gifts at Christmas, all i can remember getting was an orange. For our birthday we were allowed to open it!

We were so poor when we were kids, to keep warm in the winter my mam used to burn the furniture. You'd dare leave your seat as it would end up on the fire. Same goes for food, you couldn't turn your head or your food would have been swiped. Hard times Christina hard times! 

I had a wicked granny and a nice granny. The wicked granny was Ginger so we used to sing  this song to her because we hated her that much 'Ginger nut fell in the gut and swallowed al the fishes, one jumped up and bit her nut and that was the end of ginger nut'
 

Christina, I think it's time your nana found her self a man. I don't want to wash up cook or clean after him, it would be just lovely if he could go and get my weekly shopping in and went to bingo once a week with me. I couldn't for the life of me clean up after another shitey arsed lazy Italian like your granda Mario or a stinking beef burger BO man like Tony. How on earth i ended up with two dirty bastards (hail mary) and 12 kids i'll never know.