Getting back into the swing of things

Monday 25th July 2011 07:30am

This morning was my first gym session in 3 whole fat weeks! Honestly i thought i was about to die after 5 minutes of getting there, not to mention that i was already totally shattered from walking a whole 10 minutes from the bus stop to the actual gym itself.

I made the decision to start on that little shit who calls himself the treadmil. Chest tightened, legs went, eyes were rolling to the back of me head, then i start panting like a fat lass running to Greggs in the morning; that was before i even got on the shitting thing!

So there I am sprinting away like Chris Acaboosie and not even 4 minutes in i had to press the big red emergency stop button. Im fucked!!!!!  Lucky for me there wasn't a sole anywhere near me so i quickly ran over to the leg curling machine, which basically is a seat with a bar around the front of it. Sat there for the best part of 20... Wey until people started to come in, then i just pretended i was doing my last final reps then moved onto another seat based machine, or should i say lying down machine 'The Geordie Arse Cruncher'. I don't think it's actually called that really, or is even a Geordie but some clever dick has marker penned it on the side so we ignore the real name and call it that.

After my hard work out on that machine all i could manage were my arm presses. I felt so tired and weak i didn't even put the dobber on a weight i just pushed it in and out withought any weight on at all. Still though i rekon it done soemething, my arms are starting to hurt so surely that was worth doing?

My past 3 weeks have been completely mental though so in my deffence i've had a hard time, im not totally lazy, i just got lead up the wrong path for a bit. After all it's not easy going on 12 hour drinking binges then pigging out on numerous cooked chickens, maccy d's, burger kings, greggs pasties, crisps, sweets, pop, bread! Not to mention the 4 day festival i put in where i lived on snake bites and cheesy chips and gravy for the full time we were there.

Good times