A collection of past rants re experiences on my daily trip to work on the 518; In a stern Geordie accent!
Foamin!!! A gadgie has only claimed his perch on my (not even 6month old) denim handbag! All the seats on this porpaz wagon and u decide to sit your fat cake on my gorgeous accessory! I'm simply foaming at your face mate!!
So I'm not shizing in my knicks that a prisoner from the local jail has just got on the bus, sat opposite me and started singing 'backstreets back alright'. I look down only to see the shape of his wanger under his reebok classics which leads to a small wet patch! Really? It's fucking 8:15am
I swear down I must have a sign attached to my actual forehead saying 'attention all divvies I'd absolutely love to chat, please take a seat RIGHT NEXT TO ME and repeatedly ask me if it's 1963!' GOD SAKE I preferred the wife who pissed herself the other day, at least she had the decency to get off at the next stop. It's official the 518 is now officially called 'The Sunshine Bus'
Love how all passengers panic and make a run for it to get off the fucking bus just because it stalled! Ovz I stayed at my seat, I'm not loosing it to Sadie and her frigan shopping trolley, not this time! it seems their is a bit of a human traffic jam at the door though, a geet fat patch is blocking the exit, she's actually standing there telling folk the bastard bus has broken down and that all passengers need to stand on the grassy verge! Our bus driver needs to grow a pair here mind, we are all counting on him. Maybe tell fat bags to get off? Maybe arrange a fork lift to come and collect her! No?
Will the bloke sitting opposite me eating a cheese sandwich, stop staring @ me and the lassy next door. Your an absolute gonk! Marking papers my axe wound! Your nee teacher
No comments:
Post a Comment